• 2005-03-13

    * 收养中国女婴

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    http://www.blogbus.com/newswolf-logs/1410864.html

    可爱的美国人--收养中国女婴
    2005-3-13 星期日(Sunday) 晴

      一直对收养孤儿的人怀着敬意,因为无论她们是否有自己的客观原因,比如没有生育能力,或者单身,但有一点是肯定的,她们一定是充满慈爱之心的,她们渴望在孩子身上倾注心血。而那些跨越国界、跨越种族差别到遥远的中国领养女婴的美国人,更让我仰视。
      
      最近几年越来越多的美国人到中国的孤儿院领养女婴--所有的人都知道中国盛产女婴,由于中国人对香火的传统痴迷和计划生育政策的共同作用的结果。在Reno这样的小城市,没想到也会有至少几十个美国家庭或者个人收养了中国女孩,有的甚至一个人收养了三个。
      
      到Carson的儿童博物馆去参加美国人举办的中国新年的表演及游园活动的时候就遇到了几个由美国人和中国孩子组成的家庭。当穿着大红的中国传统的节日盛装的中国小姑娘在美国妈妈周围高兴的到处乱窜的时候,这个单身的美国妈妈毫不掩饰她的自豪,“She's so cute! I love her so much!” 她告诉我孩子叫梅,来自苏州。
      
      收养中国孩子的故事并不就此结束。当孩子长大的时候,当她们发现自己是黑头发黄皮肤而妈妈是黄头发蓝眼珠的时候,她们会迷惑,她们甚至会难过,因为别人的妈妈都跟自己的孩子长得一样。美国妈妈一般不忌讳告诉孩子她们的身世,许多甚至会带她们重访故里,寻找自己的根。
      
      今天碰巧读独到Los Angeles Times的一篇关于重回故乡的文章,感人至深。摘要如下,全文见文后链接。网站上除了母亲自己的叙述,旁边的链接还有小姑娘自己的日记,very interesting.
            
      A Journey to Fill In the Blanks
        
      Ten years after adopting, a Los Angeles mom takes her daughter back to China. At stake for each of them is the meaning of family.
       
      By Martha Groves, Los Angeles Times, December 17, 2004
      
      
      "Is that your mom?"

      The puzzled second-grader looked from my face to my daughter's, back to mine and then again to my child's — struggling to reconcile my pale features and blond hair with Nora's tawny skin, dark brown mane and almond-shaped eyes.

      "Yes," Nora chirped to her classmate. "I'm adopted."

      I silently cheered. My efforts to make Nora proud of her Chinese heritage and at ease with being the daughter of a single white mother were paying off. Or so it seemed.

      As we cuddled in bed that night, my normally good-natured 7-year-old began to sob. I wrapped my arms around her, but she was inconsolable. "You know, Mommy, it really hurts my feelings when people say we don't look alike."

     Her words stung. Yes, my daughter and I came from different races, but I had thought that my love for her would conquer all. In multicultural Los Angeles, I figured, a family like ours would blend in.greatwall

      That was not the case. As I summed it up for a family therapist, "Nora has a hole in her soul."

      So in June, 10 years to the day after I adopted the 15-month-old Tai Xiu, she and I boarded a United 747 bound for the land of her birth. My hope was that by experiencing firsthand the sights, sounds, tastes and smells of her native country — even for a short time — she could start to fill in the blanks.

      We would not be alone. Dozens of other adoptive families, many feeling the same confusion we did, also had signed on for this 15-day tour of China. For the first time in her young life, Nora, now a lean and leggy 11-year-old, would be part of a vast majority; her blue-eyed mother would be the oddball.

      We had no illusions of finding her family. We hoped not only to hike the Great Wall and sample peppery Sichuan food, but also to visit a place I hadn't been allowed to see before — the government-run orphanage known as the Taizhou Social Welfare Institution.

      The trip would prove a revelation. And not just for Nora. For me. ...
      


    小姑娘Nora日记节选:

    Dear Diary,
    I am at the White Swan Hotel [in Guangzhou] and we just ate breakfast. The breakfast was so so so yummy. I'm expecting today to be tired and to take pictures of mostly everything. The White Swan Hotel is so beautiful!!! There are shops and places to eat and a nice pool and a lot more. Since I was too tired to write last night, I'm writing today. We rode the plane and got off and checked out, then we got a ride from our guides. They were so nice.


    原文链接 the full story on LA Times
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